The summit (May 2014)

Fame, success and fortune. How powerful those words are! A far away dream, that kept me working hard day and night to achieve. A mountain peak that I had to climb all the way up to claim them.
At first and before I started my journey. I decided to get rid of my weakness points, to deprive myself from anything that might keep me behind. I reached my pocket and I got out a transparent balloon. I took a deep breath and started to blow it up with happiness, contentment, self- satisfaction and tranquility, then I let it go away into the sky.
Life is too hard. We need to make sacrifices, choices that will affect our whole life. Don’t feel sorry for me, I’ll be fine and soon I’ll be reunited with my balloon. Only when I taste the sweetness of success.
Now, it’s time to pack my things and start climbing. Through my journey I inhaled different kinds of emotions; appreciation, gratitude, admiration and honoring towards those who stood for me, supported me, offered unconditional help and advice. I was wondering how those feelings landed on them?. I also felt afraid and sad. Afraid of failure and sad of… I don’t exactly remember why I was feeling sad, it might be because I was missing my transparent balloon. I do admit now that depriving myself of a certain kind of emotions wasn’t my best action. At that time I believed they weren’t the right fuel. I mean how could I feel happy and satisfied if I hadn’t achieved my goals yet?
Anyway let’s get back to my journey. I forgot to introduce you to my true and faithful travel companion Mr. Ambitious. He was there for me all the way, motivating me, keeping me busy with my future plans.
Finally I made it. Here I’m standing at the top of the mountain acknowledging people’s appreciations, admiration & honouring. What a great feelings to possess. Yes, my dreams came true, from now and on everything should be fine.
Now, it’s time to catch my transparent balloon, to be reunited with my long lost emotions. I thought that would be easy but it wasn’t. I didn’t know how to bring them back to my life? How to feel happy, contentment or satisfied anymore. Those feelings became strangers to me. I’m also missing the kindness of human being, offering help, support and above all when they indulge me with unconditional love.
I’m sick of my life. I want to step outside. I don’t feel home is home any more. I’m struggling with two different personalities. I wish I could merge them into one person. It’s impossible to feel big and small at the same time, to help others and let others … No I can’t do it, there is no way to kneel in front of my fans and allow them to see how week I’m, how fragile I’m and how desperate I feel. That won’t do any good, on the contrary they’ll turn their backs on me and start looking for another legend. Another hero who could wear the mask of perfection for a longer time.
Well, If I can’t change my life, certainly I can put an end to my suffering. Yes, that’s it. Resignation is the right solution. I’ll still be a legend and they will always remember me as a hero.
Very well, I guess it’s time to say good bye to all of you and thanks for listening. I really enjoyed talking to you. I’m closing my eyes now opening my arms and ready to jump. Wait a minute, something is wrong, my feet are sinking in the ground. Is that how we feel in life after death? I’m scared to open my eyes, my heartbeats are getting louder and faster. Ok, here we go I can see a fade shadow on the ground getting bigger and bigger. Trying to climb  up to me. I kneeled to help him and to my surprise I saw a familiar face. Do you remember him? He is my old friend Ambitious.
“What are you doing here?” I managed to utter those words out of my astonishment.
“I’m here to help you, my old friend” he replied with a very calm and deep voice.
“But I don’t need your help anymore. I’m famous, rich and I’ve fans all around the world. I’m a successful person, there is nothing more I wish to do.” I looked around me and I added “There is no higher place to go for, Mission Completed.”
He  still held my hands, he squeezed them more and looked directly into my eyes and said “on the contrarily, you need me more than ever and this is only the beginning. You don’t need to look up for me, you can look down and sense me in a different ways.”
I let go of his hands and kneeled in prostration position, I felt the sand , smelled the earth and listened to the wind whispering to the earth. I stretched my neck to take a look all the way down. I was surprised and shamed. Surprised because I have seen hundreds, thousands, millions of people climbing the mountain doing the same journey I did before, and shamed for not observing them before. They are all different. Everyone is looking to my eyes and bringing up significant emotions. Happiness, hope, fear, depression,excitement ,suspicious and trust. Oh, that’s a long list. My tears were dripped on the ground watering the soil, bringing new seeds to life. I felt life and life felt me.
I heard the deep calm voice from behind. “I’m offering you the key to a new life, a place where no one is alone, a place where you can be there for others and they can be there for you, a place where exposing yourself won’t make you feel smaller or embarrassed and where shame is not the right word to use. No matter how you feel, how you think. It’s not about good or bad, true or false any more. It’s how much you observe, The more you observe the rich you’ll be. The more understanding you’ll become.” He paused for a seconds, grabbed my hands and said, “Those people need you as much as you need them.”
I wiped my tears and took a deep breath. I felt so brave and confident to speak a new language and I said in a loud clear voice, “Together we can live a new life. We can learn from our past, we can change our present and we can create a bright future.”
I took a coin out of my pocket, I smiled looking to its two sides. Now, that I found my other half, I would never let it go till death do us apart.


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